The Final Goodbye
by StarryEve17
Summary: My rendition of how Gale and Katniss say goodbye at the end of Mockingjay.


**Hi everyone! This is my first fanfic, so don't judge too harshly. I have read many other fanfics, so I hope this turns out okay based on what I've read so far. Constructive criticism always welcome:)  
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**One thing about the end of Mockingjay that I didn't like was how Katniss and Gale had pretty much NO closure. It bugged me, so I wrote some more about it. It was kinda rushed because it was originally an English project that I had procrastinated on:P Enjoy!  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games**

**The words in _italics_ are from the actual novel  
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_The Final Goodbye_

_ (Mockingjay pg 366)_

_ There's a tap at the door and Gale steps in. "Can I have a minute?" he asks. Gale comes up behind me and we examine each other's reflection. I'm searching for something to hang on to, some sign of the girl and boy who met by chance in the woods five years ago and became inseparable. I'm wondering what would have happened to them if the Hunger Games had not reaped the girl. If she would have fallen in love with the boy, married him even. And sometime in the future, when the brothers and sisters had been raised up, escaped with him into the woods and left 12 behind forever. Would they have been happy, out in the wild, or would the dark, twisted sadness between them have grown up even without the Capitol's help?_

_ "I brought you this." Gale holds up a sheath. When I take it, I notice it holds a single, ordinary arrow. "It's supposed to be symbolic. You firing the last shot of the war."_

_ "What if I miss?" I say._

_ "You won't miss." Gale adjusts the sheath on my shoulder._

_ We stand there, face-to-face, not meeting each other's eyes. "You didn't come see me in the hospital." He doesn't answer, so finally I just say it. "Was it your bomb?"_

_ "I don't know," he says. "Does it matter? You'll always be thinking about it."_

_ He waits for me to deny it; I want to deny it, but it's true. Even now I can see the flash that ignites her, feel the heat of the flames. And I will never be able to separate that moment from Gale. My silence is my answer._

_ "That was the one thing I had going for me. Taking care of your family." He said. _

I wanted so badly to tell him. He had so much more going for him than just taking care of my family. He was my best friend—the only person who I truly felt like I could be myself with. It made me angry that he thought that all he was to me was a guardian for my family, when in reality, he was so much more. I loved him. But I loved Peeta too. Peeta was my opposite, sweet and sincere, while Gale was my parallel. When Gale was in pain, so was I. When he was vulnerable, so was I. When he was angry, so was I. There was no balance. We were tipping dangerously on one side of a seemingly golden scale. I realized then that it couldn't have ever worked out between us. But then again, I've always known that.

He slowly turned for the door. As his hand reached for the ornate doorknob, he hesitated.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, turning to me. "I never wanted any of this to happen."

"None of us did." I said monotonously.

"No, you don't understand. Prim is _dead. _And you think it's because of me. Nothing can ever be the same again."

"Gale—"

"Don't Katniss. It's hopeless." He was right. He turned for the door again.

My emotions began to stir, and a torrent of sadness rose from my throat.

"I wish Prim had never been reaped," I choked out. Gale rushed to my side, rubbing my back, his dark brow furrowed in worry.

"Katniss, I'm sorry—"

"I know you are. It doesn't change the fact that everything's changed. You've changed. I've changed. The world's changed. Why did it have to change?" He held me in his strong arms as I cried. So much was sacrificed for this ridiculous war. Was it worth it? "_Of course it was"_ I tell myself. But the loss was too great. No one would ever be the same again.

I realized how selfish I was. There were so many people who were suffering, one of which was Gale. And I was receding into lonely darkness, blocking everyone out. I couldn't even find it in my heart to forgive Gale for something he _might _have done. And I never would.

"I can't forgive you. I won't." I sobbed. He softly stroked my hair.

"I know." That was all he said.

"I want to, but I won't. And I wish I could forgive you. I wish things were back to the way they were before. I wish we could hunt together, and talk like we used to." I paused, "I wish we still loved each other."

His stormy gray eyes finally met mine.

"I still love you. That never changed. And it probably never will. But he's better for you. I can't take back the mistakes I've made, but maybe he can help you heal." His eyes shone deeply with sadness and regret. "I won't forgive myself either."

How could I possibly stay mad at him? Because I was selfish. I was selfish to think that this whole thing was about me. That every bad thing that happened affected me, and me only. I never stopped to think about what Gale might have been feeling this entire time.

Since the very beginning, he has been put through hell, just like the rest of us. He was forced to watch the girl he loves fight to the death on live television, only to discover that she loves the boy with the bread. All the while he was providing for their families, risking his life to find the means to survive. Then the girl led him on to think that she loved him, when in reality, it was the spur of the moment. When he needed her in one of his darkest hours, she was there. Naturally, that would be dubbed a _selfless _act, rather than a selfish one. But she was confused. And when she was confused, she turned to the one who seemed to need her the most, when, in the end, she turned to the one that _she_ needed the most.

Selfish. That's all I was. There was never a Girl on Fire. There was never a Mockingjay. Only a selfish girl who took what she wanted, no matter who got hurt.

I should be the one comforting Gale. Instead he's here, whispering soothing words as I hideously bawl into his shoulder. He has always been there for me. I never returned the favor. I may have suffered through the Games. I may have lost my sister. And this whole mess may have possibly destroyed every fabric of sanity I have left in my tormented mind. But he lost the girl he loves. He lost his best friend. He doesn't have anyone who truly care to fall back on like I do. He doesn't have me. I don't have him. And now, after everything, I'm finally beginning to understand how he feels. Why I couldn't see it before, I don't know.

When I don't answer, he stands for the last time. His face holds no emotion. His eyes reveal everything. Agony—what I've been feeling since the very beginning.

_(…continued) "Shoot straight, okay?" He touches my check and leaves. I want to call him back and tell him that I was wrong. That I'll figure out a way to make peace with this. To remember the circumstances under which he created the bomb. Take into account my own inexcusable crimes. Dig up the truth about who dropped the parachutes. Prove it wasn't the rebels. Forgive him. But since I can't, I'll just have to deal with the pain. _

Just like he does. We are the same, anyway.

**Personally, Gale is my favorite, but I like Peeta better for Katniss.**

******I hope you liked it! Please leave a review! :)  
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